In Pursuit of Cookies and Love
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: Salima just wants a midnight snack, but will her ninja skills fail her epically?  Rated T for Tough cookies, and also, The Macarena.  Do not read if a male cameo pursuing another male cameo dramatically offends you... thank you and good night!  :D


_**A/N**: Hello all! I figure it's been a long time since I've tort-I mean, had some fun with any bladers, so I'm back! And this time, I've brought Salima with me 8D Parody time, YAY! 8D_

_**Warnings**: OOCness, CAMEO (and a new cameo sensation which **AquilaTempestas** helped me think of!) , randomness, weirdness, blahness, swearing? Something to that effect anyway. Sorry if it sucks, I'm rusty ^^;_

_**Thank you**: AquilaTempestas! You have made this much more cracky than it was! MY HERO! :D_

_**Disclaimer**__: I don't own anything significant, let alone this T.T_

There was no way I could do this.

Not that I would admit this out loud of course. That would only defeat the purpose of doing this in the first place!

The kitchen was most definitely booby trapped. Oh, wait, if it was booby trapped, I wouldn't know about it. So what would it be called? Hmmm…

Wait, why does it matter? I'm here to acquire those delicious chocolate chip cookies, not debate with myself about a silly term. I've definitely gone crazy.

Sighing, I squint at the clock. Midnight. Perfect time for a snack.

Adjusting my ninja mask, I slowly push the door open, careful to avoid creaking. Stupid creaking always messes me up every time! But luck is on my side today… the door was silent! I grinned crazily to myself, pleased with this small success.

I tiptoed to the counter, marking the halfway point. So far, nothing tried to trap me. Maybe I'm being too paranoid? I sigh, and try to relax a little bit. It's my kitchen for crying out loud! Why should I feel guilty about wanting cookies?

With this in mind, I decide to take normal sized steps towards the refrigerator.

Bad idea. My right foot got stuck in some glue conveniently left on the floor. Shouldn't it be dry by now? Why didn't this get cleaned up earlier?

How long has it been there?

Shaking my head of these annoying questions, I step forward with my left foot. If I must only use my left, then so be it!

… Except that my left foot would then slip and result in me doing the splits. Doing the splits would have been fine if I had done them before. However, that is not the case and I can't stop the cry of pain from coming out.

I swore to myself. If the thud from me landing didn't wake anyone up, surely the whole neighborhood awoke to the very brief, yet very loud scream.

I placed my hands on both sides of me to push myself up, and knew immediately I failed my mission for sure. Sighing, I cursed my luck even more. Why were my hands in contact with glue anyway? Wasn't that already on my right foot? Lame. Outwitted by the glue again…

"Salima."

I snapped my head towards the direction of the voice. Ironically, it was right in between myself and the cookies. Those delicious, delicious cookies…

"Salima," the voice tried again. Why did it sound so familiar? And why was it taunting me?

"What are you doing on the floor Salima? You'll get all sticky." The voice reprimanded me.

Wait a minute… KANE? "Is that you Kane? What are you doing here?"

"Well… I was just grabbing a cookie for myself, when you decided to try and sneak them all for yourself! I knew I couldn't let that happen, so I booby trapped the floor! Aren't I such a genius?"

I rolled my eyes. Kane was always good at preventing me from smuggling anything, but I wouldn't go as far as to call him a GENIUS. And he booby trapped me? Wait a minute… "Kane, you didn't booby trap me! You PRANKED me! There is a huge difference!" I exclaimed.

Kane shrugged. "Whatever, I still tricked you out of the cookies."

I glared at him. "Are you going to help me up? In case you haven't noticed, I'm rather… stuck." I shot him another pointed glare, just in case he didn't notice the first one.

Kane snickered. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot, you're in quite the sticky situation there, aren't you? Well, sorry, but I have to go now. Bye!" Kane dashed out of the kitchen-with my cookies-and left the house in a flash.

"What a bastard," I muttered angrily to myself. "Now what am I supposed to do? I wish I could get out of this stupid glue…"

"Having some trouble?" A strange voice asked smoothly. Who the hell was this guy?

"Um… who the hell are you?" Whoever he was, he certainly seemed suspicious to me. I squinted at his eccentric choice of clothing. Who dressed this guy? A genie fanatic?

"I am Genie Tala, obviously. How could you not tell?" This dude asked me in a way that suggested he was _disgusted_ with me. Or disappointed. Probably both. What a weirdo. But at least his name explains his outfit…

"Uh huh, fine, whatever, can you help me up or not?" I know I was being a little rude, but I _was_ glued to the floor, talking to some whack job! Were cookies even _worth_ this?

He smirked at me. "Of course I can. In fact, I already did." He gestured to me. "You can get up now if you're done checking me out."

Why that arrogant bastard-

"That's not very nice. And to think I was going to bring your cookies back. Oh well." Genie Tala shrugged casually. "Well, if that's all… I should be going now."

"Wait," I call out before I can stop myself. "Thank you for helping me." If only he really _could_ bring me my cookies back. That would be a miracle.

The genie sighed, and then pointed at the counter. "Your cookies are over there. I hope you don't mind if I take half as payment."

"Thank you so much!" I grab a couple and then give this weirdo a hug. And why not? He saved my cookies from Kane's grasp. What a hero!

"Hey! YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM! HE'S MINE!" An even newer voice yelled out ferociously.

Immediately I let go of course. I wouldn't want to get tangled up in this jealousy fest. Genie Tala on the other hand looked really annoyed. "I am NOT yours, Bryan. Sorry. And I never will be."

"IT'S PIRATE BRYAN TO YOU, MY LOVE!" The newcomer loudly corrected him. Has he ever heard of an inside voice? Good grief.

Genie Tala rolled his eyes. "Right, my bad. Just because you're dressed up as a pirate, it means that you _are_ one. I forgot."

I almost choked on my cookie. Isn't he doing the same thing? Sounds hypocritical to me. I was about to voice these thoughts when this Pirate Bryan spoke again.

"I can prove to you that I am worthy, my Genie!" Pirate Bryan hugged Genie Tala's legs and dramatically sobbed into them. And here I thought Genie Tala was a whack job…

A look of horror flashed across the otherwise calm genie's face. Then he smirked. "I'm sorry, there is absolutely no way that I'd even consider it… well, maybe if… nah, forget it. It's too much for me to ask."

Pirate Bryan's eyes widened and looked up at him. "What? I'll do anything! WHAT IS IT?"

Genie Tala's lips twitched in the effort to keep a straight face. "Ok, I'll tell you… the only way for anyone to prove their worth is to…" he paused dramatically. "RUN AROUND IN THE RAIN NAKED!"

This time I really did choke on my cookie.

The pirate wannabe looked over at me, annoyed because I was ruining his moment, most likely. If I wasn't too busy trying to find some air, I would've chewed him out for being so clingy and desperate.

Genie Tala sighed, and snapped his fingers. I could breathe again! How the hell did he do that? Before I could thank him again, he started tapping his foot. "Well? Are you going to do it or not Bryan?"

"Yes my love! RIGHT AWAY!" The pirate responded at the top of his lungs. "Will you come watch me?"

There was no way in _hell_ I was going to. Genie Tala nodded. "Of course. And you'll need a third party witness as well," he grabs my arm. "Let's go!"

I guess I was meant to watch this scarring event. As soon as we stepped outside, Pirate Bryan ripped his clothes off in less than five seconds, and started doing the Macarena.

My eyes almost bulged right out of my head, the scene was that messed up. I finally managed to tear my eyes away from him to glance over at Genie Tala. Unfortunately for me, his face was blank. What the hell could he possibly be thinking? Making us watch this? Does he actually enjoy this?

He must! Otherwise, why would he have the pirate wannabe do such a thing?

"You can go now, if you want. You've probably had a long night, and could use some rest Salima." Genie Tala casually stated. "I've got it from here, you go to bed." Genie Tala snapped his fingers, and then-

Darkness. The darkness. Where was I? I tried to sit up. "Oh, it's just my bed. How'd he do that anyway?" My musings were cut short from my stomach rumbling. "I just ate, could I just be hungry for more cookies?"

I shrugged to myself. "Oh well," I pull the jar into my lap. "Who am I to deny myself chocolate chip cookies?" I laughed quietly to myself, and proceeded to stuff my face to my heart's content.

On the other side of the door, Kane frowned. "I can't believe you gave this crazy girl all the cookies…"

Genie Tala shrugged, and Pirate Bryan grinned. "I don't care, as long as I get my genie all to myself!"

Kane facepalmed. "I'm surrounded by idiots…"

_**A/N**: Yes, Kane, yes you are. And I would like to apologize sincerely for that :D_

_I'm still not sure WTF is with this oneshot… but I safely assume it means that I'm back! Hahaha, still crazy and insane as ever! So, does the ending mean that a lot of time has passed? Or maybe it was all a dream! Who knows! What do you think?_

_Please review and let me know what you think about the MADNESS. And also, THEDARKNESS :D_

_Peace and love!_

_chocolatexloverx16 _


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